14 Wednesday Jan 2015
Posted in General
For two amazing years abroad, I was Rachel in Amsterdam. But that chapter ended two years ago and a new one began. As such, it’s time to move on from here. To start anew. You can now find my musings, photos and stories at ColoRachel.wordpress.com.
Tot zeins.
05 Thursday Dec 2013
Posted in New Experiences, The Little Things
Tags
adventure, Amsterdam, change, Europe, expat, friends, Holland, life, Netherlands, new experiences, travel, USA
Today is the three year anniversary of the day I arrived in Holland. Happy Sinterklaas, y’all! Time for a bit of reflection, I think.
If you’ve read the “About Me” page on this blog or knew me as a kid you wouldn’t be surprised that my folks and just about anyone else in my family was a tad bit concerned I’d never have any friends. I remember hiding behind my mom’s leg when a stranger would come over, gazing down at the floor rather than making eye contact with someone new or in circumstances I wasn’t sure I’d have anything to say. Call it shyness, lack of confidence, or maybe low self-esteem but as a kid, a teen, a young adult, I wasn’t comfortable enough with me to hold my head up high and seek out opportunities to interact with people. Obviously that is no longer the case, but how did I get here? I thought about that recently and notice a few milestones that cracked and eventually broke open the shell.
First was high school. Somewhere around my Junior year (1995/6 to date myself) a friend asked me if I rollerblade. I am a product of the 80’s and 90’s so the answer was clearly, Yes. He suggested I grab my skates and come over to his house after school so that he and a couple of his friends could teach me how to do some tricks. Out came a saw, a grinder and whatever else it took to hack my skates into the appropriate condition and a short while later these guys had me in my skates and sliding down an aluminum pole about 8″ off the ground. I didn’t know what it was but I knew I liked it and wanted more. Most, if not every day, some collection of us would get together to skate at my friend’s house, the high school or some other location with something grindable where we were unlikely to get kicked out. A couple years later an indoor skatepark opened about 30 minutes away and I learned about skating transitions, mini-ramps and other such nonsense. Rollerblading (or aggressive inline skating as it was so fashionably dubbed) became my first real passion in life. I absolutely loved it and the people I met as a result. Nine times out of 10 I would be the only girl at the skatepark earning me respect and attention and building my self-confidence. It was easy to talk to people when there was a common platform to jump off (pun intended) of and I met a number of people I am still good friends with 15+ years later.
Second was the tennis club. In college I found a part-time job working at a private tennis club. No, I didn’t play tennis or know anything about it, but I found the posting, interviewed and was sitting at the front desk answering phones and booking courts in no time. On average it would be pretty safe to say that the membership’s age was somewhere in the mid- to late-40’s, upper-middle class, Orange County. I think I started working there when I was 19 or 20. Absolutely no common ground, right? I was my shy and awkward self until, after a few months of seeing the same faces over and over as well as being pushed behind the bar, things started to loosen up. The members of the club and the other staff I worked with (some of whom were among my generation) all unknowingly cracked the shell significantly deeper. Over the years I worked there my confidence continued to build. I finished school and felt at least a little more ready to be out in the real world. I left the club after college/university for my first real 8-5 office job and started building my experience and career.
The next 10+ years were a collection of different jobs and moving my life from Southern California to Reno, Nevada. In California I mostly kept the same friends I’d had from the tennis club. In moving to Reno I picked up the friends of the person I relocated for rather than building my own social circle. When the relationship ended, I was left without much of my own identity. So I picked up the skates, went to the skatepark and remembered how to meet people, to make friends again. I stayed in Reno a while longer until that day in December, three years ago today, when I packed up and moved to Europe sight unseen. Which brings us to…
Third was Amsterdam. Not just Amsterdam but everything around it, everything it symbolized, everything that happened in those two years. I’m not sure an introvert would have ever left her home country for a place she knew no one. Packing up and leaving everything, everyone behind was the easiest hard decision I’ve ever made. Call it what you will, but it was time for a change. For everything to change. The right opportunity hit at the right time and there was no way I couldn’t go. The experience pushed and stretched me personally and professionally. I learned I could do things I didn’t think possible or that I might have been afraid of. I learned so much about myself in those two years and came out the other side more comfortable in my own skin than I’ve ever been.
For the first time, I feel like I could probably connect and find common ground or something interesting to talk about with just about anyone. Not only do I feel I have something to say, but I’m more curious about other people and their experiences than ever before. Now, I seek out those opportunities more often online or out in the real world. Learning, growing and living is an amazing space to occupy. Don’t get me wrong, there are still many moments of insecurity. Will they like me? Am I good enough? Am I doing this right? But the voice is quieter and easier to trample over. Looking back at my youth and today knowing other kids and young adults, I realize those formative years are just wrought with insecurity for everyone. Nobody knows what they’re doing or is completely sure of themselves. It’s just that some do a better job of stepping over those feelings or hiding them than others. Now, in my 30’s I am me, I know who me is, there’s no one else I’d rather be. There’s still plenty more to learn, do, explore, discover and I’m certain it’ll all be wonderful. Probably not easy, but still wonderful.
02 Monday Dec 2013
Posted in General
Tags
adventure, change, Colorado, Denver, expat, friends, guest blog, life, moving, new experiences, Thanksgiving, travel, USA
Well, I had the best of intentions to kick start my writing again. I listed a few things I thought would be good posts, and a few people requested I keep going, but you know, stuff. Fast forward to last week when my good friend Rachel Wright asked me to return as part of her December Guest Blog Blitz. Being days before Thanksgiving when she asked I knew exactly what I wanted to write about. I made some notes, clicked Save and Close, and waited until the day before my deadline to sit down and write. But I did write. Rachel gave me some good feedback and direction and we ended up with this. Enjoy.
http://gattusovarietal.blogspot.com/2013/12/dgbb-of-gratitude-bravery-and.html
P.S. I still have intentions of writing here again. Intentions…
19 Thursday Sep 2013
Posted in Travel
There had been talk around the office for a few weeks about my going to Europe to work with the client I’d been working for while in Amsterdam. Then Friday the trigger was pulled and my flight booked. And today, Thursday, September 19th, nine months and two days since I left Amsterdam, I am back.
I landed very early this morning, took the train then the tram to my friend’s apartment (the one who almost got crushed by the refrigerator in this little experience), caught up, took a nap, then went back to my former employer to catch up with colleagues. It’s difficult to explain how, exactly it feels to be here but mostly it’s great. I love and adore this city and would probably still be here if it weren’t so far from home, from family. I’ll sort through that later. For now, I’ll enjoy the view from this apartment, the opportunity to spend time with people I haven’t seen for nine months and the city in general.
Arriving at Schiphol Airport
Ah yes, the commute to the office where I don’t have to drive.
Just a little happy to be back and in a scarf. It’s chilly and rainy here. Shocking, I know.
17 Sunday Feb 2013
Posted in RCPM, The Little Things
Tags
adventure, change, Denver, expat, friends, life, moving, PADI, photos, Phuket, RCPM, Roger Clyne, Thailand, travel, USA, work
Especially in recent years, I’ve enjoyed everything about the number 13. Probably not for any reason in particular, but I don’t buy into the unlucky connotation it carries in the US. Friday the 13th and 2013? Bring it on. And I must say, if the first month and a half of the year are any indication, triskaidekaphobia (fear of 13) is absolutely no part of my being.
I rang in the new year with my dearest friend in Thailand and proceeded to spend the entire month of January doing as little as humanly possible. Coming back to the States, I find myself surrounded by family and friends. I’ve been to three states since being back and have already made more wonderful memories than any one person could ask for. I feel insanely lucky for the people, places, things I have come back to and am thankful to feel welcomed back with open arms and hearts.
The fate of this blog is still undecided as I’m not sure what would be as interesting to share as the stories these past two years, but life has a way of surprising us. Which brings to mind a quote from a movie I recently watched on some transcontinental flight:
Most times real life doesn’t measure up to what’s in our heads, but every now and then it comes pretty close. -The Magic of Belle Isle
Yeah, that.
Now, halfway through February, I’m getting back into the swing of things at work – a new job at an old company – and making plans for fun adventures in the coming months. So far that’s one of my favorite parts of being back – getting to make plans for the future, knowing where I’m going to be and who will be around. I look forward to making a home for myself somewhere, to settling in a bit, to planting some roots in the ground for a while. It’s you and me 2013, let’s do this.
02 Saturday Feb 2013
Posted in General
The final week in Thailand wrapped up nicely with a few days in Bangkok and a weekend trip to Kuala Lumpur on a visa run. It was great to catch up with a friend there who I hadn’t seen in too many years but had kept in touch with via the internet. The last few days were inspiring in a number of ways and helped to start thinking about what’s next for me. Now I’m back in the states and the fact that it’s not just for a few days or weeks has yet to sink in. But it will. So, what is next?
I write this from California where I spend a long weekend visiting family. Monday I go to Reno for a couple days with mom and to unpack my Thailand travel gear replacing it with items more suitable for colder weather. Thursday I fly to Denver for a three night music fest of sorts during which I will celebrate my last few days of unemployment. The following Monday morning I will wake up, walk across the parking lot from my hotel to my office and start my new job in a new city. I am extremely excited about all of these things.
Over the second half of last year I wrote about the decision to stay in Amsterdam or move back to the states. At the same time and behind the scenes I was also exploring the options of what I might do professionally in the US should I return. This turned into conversations with a number of different people regarding a number of different opportunities. On top of the stress of deciding where to locate was now the decision of what to do with myself. In the end, I chose the opportunity I felt offered the most variety, the most challenge and the most growth potential. Funnily enough, that meant going back to the company I left to move to Europe. Fortunately we parted on good terms and they initiated the conversation to come back. I am extremely excited to work with former colleagues again and to bring back the lessons I’ve learned the last two years. I have a feeling it’s going to be a great role at a very exciting time.
And where might this work be taking place, you ask? The list of places I had considered living was relatively short. The main requirement was that it had to be in the western US as most of my family is located there. Beyond that somewhere with an outdoorsy lifestyle, water and/or mountains nearby, an international airport, a vibrant local culture, music/museums/events, and some decent public transportation. I thought about moving back to California where many of my family are, maybe San Diego or the Bay Area, Seattle, Portland (though I’ve never been) and Denver. I figured the decision would be dictated at least in part to where I’d be working and I guess that was the case at least a little.
Though I lived and worked for this company in Reno previously they also have an office in Denver where a few key people sit. Though the new job is location independent I could see it would be good to join them at least to start. As it was already one of my top two choices, I picked Denver. From what I’ve seen it has just about everything I was looking for and a handful of friends who already live there and love it. Bonus! February is full of travel so in March when there’s not too much snow between Reno and Denver, I’ll drive my car and a few boxes the 1,000 miles (1,600km) to give the mile high city a shot.
As I said, I am extremely excited about all of the new adventures that lie ahead. A new job, a new city, new challenges, new people. I have a great feeling about it all and can’t wait to see what 2013 has in store. I am also looking forward to settling down, at least a little. Finding a place, making a home and having some kind of regular schedule in my life. After two years of constant travel (which I loved, don’t get me wrong) I’m feeling like it’s time to just be for a while. Of course, put me in one place for any number of weeks in a row and we’ll see how long that feeling lasts.
24 Monday Dec 2012
Posted in Travel
Tags
Colorado, country, Denver, expat, Hickman-Dalton, mountains, music, Railbenders, travel
I’ve been back in the states for a week and boy have I kept busy. Every day has been full of errands and activities, the evenings spent catching up with friends. The feeling of being back in a place where I have so much history and so many great relationships is wonderful. So many things, moments have helped reinforce that the decision I made was the right one. I’m happy to be home.
But not being one to sit still for very long I was already up in the air Friday headed to Denver for a weekend similar to the one this time last year. Two days surrounded by friends, meeting new people and enjoying some of the best live music on the planet. Like last year the stellar weekend was over almost as quickly as it began. Two short days and nights were full of memorable moments, laughter and a Saturday night show that I can’t imagine will ever be topped. The difference between this December and last is that I won’t have to wait 6-12 months to see these people and do these things again. In fact, plans are already set for the next such weekend in February on the last weekend of my two month break.
2013 is already full of great plans and possibilities. I’ve had a lot of people asking if I’ll keep this blog going even though the Amsterdam experience is over. For now, the answer is yes. There are some fun and exciting things ahead and I think the transition back to life in the states – the ups and downs – is all part of the story. It ain’t over just yet.
Railbenders with Johnny Hickman
Afternoon hot tub session in Keystone, CO
Hickman-Dalton Gang
The face of pure joy
21 Friday Dec 2012
Posted in New Experiences, Travel
Tags
adventure, Amsterdam, Christmas, Europe, expat, Holland, life, Netherlands, new experiences, Sinterklaas, travel, USA
At the beginning of the month a good friend and fellow Rachel asked me to be part of her December Guest Blog Blitz. I happily accepted, then the month got a little busy. Yesterday while sitting at a local brewery and restaurant waiting for my car to be serviced I put my head down and shared some thoughts on the holidays in The Netherlands.
Take a stroll over to Rachel’s blog not only for this post but to be party to her wonderful writing style and all the adventures she’s now taking on married to a cattle broker. Enjoy and happy holidays!
http://gattusovarietal.blogspot.com/2012/12/december-guest-blog-blitz-sinterklaas.html
19 Wednesday Dec 2012
Posted in The Little Things, Travel
Tags
adventure, Amsterdam, change, Europe, expat, friends, Holland, life, moving, Netherlands, Reno, travel, USA
The countdown is over. I’m back baby!
Monday’s travels were as smooth as could be expected though it did seem my luggage was inspected at every possible checkpoint. Who knew my bags were that interesting? The final destination of this journey was Reno, Nevada where I lived before moving to Amsterdam and where my mom still resides. As we flew over the mountains and lakes on the approach, all I could do was smile. I missed this landscape and scenery. Mom greeted me outside the terminal, helped with my bags and took me back to her place, my home base for the next two months.
Later in the evening I met up with a group of people for drinks to keep myself moving and awake in the hope of bypassing jet lag as much as possible. It was in the course of that conversation that, for the first time, I referred to my life in Amsterdam in the past tense, using was instead of is. As the words came out I fought to keep it together. In that moment I realized that the chapter has ended. I can only imagine there will be many more of those moments, little things I do/say/see where it all sinks in. Of course I will be sad, I will miss so many things about my life there, but the next thing to run through my mind will be the adventures ahead. Many are already planned, others are in talks and even more haven’t made themselves known just yet.
So here I am, back in the US. Reno, NV of all places. But I’m home. Everything about being back feels right, reassuring me that as difficult and labored as the decision was I chose right. Now comes the process of readjusting to American life, at least partially, and getting used to speaking about Amsterdam and my life there in the past tense. Is changes to was.
16 Sunday Dec 2012
Posted in General, The Little Things
Tags
adventure, Amsterdam, change, Europe, expat, friends, Holland, learning Dutch, life, moving, Netherlands, photos
Day zero is just around the corner. Daunting. In happier news, it’s after 8pm Sunday and this is the first opportunity I’ve had to sit down and write all weekend. Both Saturday and Sunday have been jam packed with friends, activities, meals, and packing. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I’ve never been overly social or one to have a very large circle of acquaintances, preferring instead for a few close friends. Last night I was surrounded by most of those few, important people in my life here in Amsterdam. I feel really lucky.
There have been a few tears this weekend as one would expect, but for the most part I’ve been enjoying each and every moment. Seeing Amsterdam through fresh eyes. And speaking WAY more Dutch than ever before. What’s up with that? Maybe there really is something that clicks at the two year mark or maybe I’m just getting it all out while I can.
Now it’s a quiet Sunday evening at home. My bags are all packed and just waiting to be taken back across the sea tomorrow. I know I’m crazy to leave such a great city as Amsterdam – one that after traveling all around Europe for two years can’t be matched by any other. But for every great memory I’ve had here and for every sad thought about what I’ll miss, there are an equal number of exciting moments and adventures ahead. In fact, the next two months alone are enough to last a lifetime but I’ll save that for another post. And as a bonus, I won’t have to miss it for long. I already have a return visit planned for an undetermined period of time around Queen’s Day 2013. That thought alone comforts me, knowing it will only be a few months until I’m back here again in this city and with these people.
So for one last time in 2012 and as a Dutch resident… Goedenavond Amsterdam. Slaap lekker en tot morgen. Ik how van je.
