After months of thinking, over thinking and over thinking some more I’ve decided. Thank you all for your support, kind comments and feedback on the previous posts, in person and elsewhere. As pointed out by a few of you, no decision would have been wrong and that’s probably what made it all so difficult. Either way – staying in Amsterdam or going back to the states – I would be somewhere great but leaving some group of friends or family behind. Split between two worlds. Lost sleep, tension and stress, a world of emotions later it’s done.
Despite the amazingness that is my life in Amsterdam, working and traveling across Europe, my heart is calling me home. And home is the US. After two years so far from family, it’s time to get back.
This journey has been insanely amazing – more than I ever could have dreamed. Not only have I loved living in Amsterdam, doing my job, the travel and experiences I’ve had on this continent, and meeting the most amazing people, I’ve also completely changed. In this relatively short time I have done what most spend their lives trying not to do – I’ve grown up. Completely removing myself from everyone and everything I knew before provided lots of time and opportunity for self-reflection which is probably just what I needed. In two years I have had more personal and professional growth than I could have hoped for and couldn’t be more thankful.
There is still so much for me here in Amsterdam, in Europe. Friends, experiences, travel and a lot more to come from the project at work. But in the end, it doesn’t feel like home. I just can’t see myself settling so far from family and starting a life with an ocean between us. In just under 8 weeks I will return to the states infinitely richer.
When I gave my notice at work and as I write these words, I feel the weight lifting off my shoulders. I can’t wait to see what other adventures life has in store and where the next chapter of this story will go. I’ve never been happier or more satisfied. I am excited to carry these lessons on and see how I can continue to grow, learn and surprise even myself.